There is something to be said about the popular expression, “aging like fine wine”. This summarizes our philosophy on women and aging.
It is true that women become wiser, stronger, happier, sexier, better looking as they grow older. Even their confidence level tends to improve with age.
Life is all about growth. Each day we spend on earth is an opportunity to grow, learn new things and develop.
However, the society has a lot to say about how a woman should look. Our heads have been filled with the same things from the moment of our birth, we’ve been taught to equate youth to beauty.
We’re smart enough to know that this is false, but the messages have been so ingrained into our lives that they still have the power to affect us.
The big question is, how do we do away with these messages when they’re constantly been shoved in our face? People romance and defend their beliefs, more than they are in love with adapting new, healthier beliefs. I implore you to challenge and break free from your old belief patterns to adapt new ones for happier reality/experience forward. Here are some new ways to think to help you better appreciate your age without allowing society’s opinions affect you:
1. Define beauty for yourself
Without our own definition of beauty, it is easy to fall for the standard set by society.
It is not just about noticing beauty, you have to actively seek it out. You can start from the front of your mirror!
For instance, rather than stressing yourself over let’s say, a new strand of grey hair or some wrinkle, you can choose to see these aging features as beautiful on purpose with genuine intention. When you choose to look for beauty with conscious intention, and you will start to see more of it as your apprecation for aging grows.
Your aging features represent part of your journey through life, like your husband, children, loved ones, your life experiences, and the precious joyous moments you’ve enjoyed over the years. And when you look deeper, you’ll see the beauty in that grey hair, and how beautiful it looks on you when it contrasts against the other strands of hair. The wrinkle then becomes a reminder of all your beautiful memories, the laughter it brought to your life, and how grateful you are for those moments.
This will help you appreciate the beauty in you. You can also try seeing the beauty in other older women you love or respect. The more you look, and the more you’ll find!
2. Appreciate the developmental stages
This is something we do with kids. We appreciate the developmental stages they go through to become adults. So why do you automatically assume that developmental phases come to an end when you turn 22?
According to neuroscience, the human brain does not mature until around age 25 and continues to develop throughout our lives- especially when it is kept active through constant learning.
Our development doesn’t just end with childhood; it is a continuous process through which we keep evolving! Our social and language skillsets, our emotional stability and maturity, our ability to reason, teach and nurture, our ability to forgive and let go, our ability to love and appreciate, etc., all continue to improve as we age. And most importantly as we age, we finally learn that happiness is a skill and a choice. And the feeling of joy can be cultivated to a higher level with the practice of gratitude, by focus on the simple things of life and the things that really matter.
“You have the wisdom to not let the little things upset you, and what others think or do are much less of a concern.” When we learn to value all the skillsets we gained through the journey of life, we learn to appreciate all the developmental stages equally coming from a deeper perspective.
3. Adopt attitude that promotes self-acceptance
Don’t worry if this feels like a lot. It is not easy to go from looking down on yourself to seeing yourself as the really fabulous person that you are!
However, there is really no need to turn the whole thing into one huge production. Cultivating a self-esteem culture shouldn’t be that dramatic!
Self-acceptance is a gradual and natural way to self-esteem. When I look at myself, really look at myself, I realize that I’m happy with where I am at this point in my life, I’m okay with my looks, I’m okay with my accomplishments, I’m fine with my life in general.
There is no rule that says it must all fit into what is considered ideal, it just needs to be fine for you because you are all that matters.
We’ve spent our lives listening to other people tell us what we’re supposed to look like, that we become accustomed to those message which informs what we see when we stand in front of the mirror.
Imagine going against the norm and speaking positive words to your reflection? You’ll probably feel odd at the beginning, but speaking positive words to yourself is a choice you can make!
There is no better place to practice this than the front of your mirror. Rather than seeing all the things you think is wrong about you, you can speak positive things out, be intentional about this. Say nice things about yourself and watch yourself glow.
Find one thing that you like about your body or face and concentrate on that feature. You’ll be amazed at how much change you will experience even if it is only 30 seconds you spend on this.
4. Develop a growth mindset
Studies have shown that a “growth mindset” is more likely to boost happiness and success in humans unlike “fixed mindsets” where you’re too set in your ways to change.
A growth mindset thrives on challenges and sees failure not as evidence of unintelligence and let-down, but a natural part of the learning experiences where each mistake provides information and feedback that teach us to do things differently going forward for growth and to help us expand our existing abilities.
Having a growth mindset makes it possible to believe that you can grow and improve your life no matter of circumstances, instead of just accepting things as they are because that’s how you’ve been programmed to think.
If your mindset is one that encourages learning and growing, it becomes easier for you to accept aging as part of your expansion process. There is more to you than your age!
Choosing to commit yourself to the practice of growth mindset is a generative process and gives you an expansive feeling that feels good inside. When we feel good inside, it will shine through our outer beauty. Investing in yourself is a self-rewarding value act and will help you propel forward to feeling confident and beautiful from the inside out.
Aging comes with wisdom and makes your life fuller and richer with your accrued life experiences. This mindset leads not only to a passion for learning and personal development but also confidence and a resilient sense of self in the face of criticism and judgment from others and society when it comes to beauty and self-worth.
5. Give Yourself More Love
Thanks–but no thanks-to our culture’s negative messages about aging, many women feel they need to cover up or disguise their natural beauty to create an illusion of youth. The Western cultural stigma around aging, while other Asian and Native American cultures celebrate aging with respect, honor, and wisdom. Women from these cultures are prideful of their fine line wrinkles as they represent the positive aspects of life.
The good thing is that our perceptions and beliefs are only as true as long as we believe in them. So instead, spend some time admiring all your experiences of what makes you, uniquely you.
Taking a moment to look at your smile or brow lines and think about how they were formed. Admire the striking, shiny glints in your silver hair. You are beautiful and worthy of love just as you are, at every age. The more you genuinely accept and love yourself, the more beautiful you will become when you look into the mirror.
We all need to be our best cheerleaders and need to speak and view ourselves the same way as we would with our beloved children and loved ones. Learning to love our mind and body is a radical act of self-love and it’s a beautiful thing.
As we continue to learn and partake in the never-ending journey of improving ourselves, we expand our capacity for greater happiness for ourselves and all around us. I say, take pride in this journey. The author wishes to thank you for taking the time to read this blog post. Always remember, we are all unique and have the highest of all intrinsic worth. We are all rarest of all diamonds, and you just got to recognize that. With much love and appreciation ~MM #FeelGoodLookGood @goodluckomens
Jennifer Aniston’s Natural Makeup
One thing we also love and believe in is that less is more. You really don’t have to fill your face with tons of makeup to look good, especially if you’re in your 40s, 50s, 60s and so on.
A simple makeup routine should do the trick. With a pair of false lashes accentuating your eyes and a few touch ups, a woman can look natural and gorgeous with little effort.
Jennifer Aniston is a woman that embodies the saying less is more.
Her makeup look is a classic, timeless look that can work for any woman. Her makeup of choice involves well-defined eyes, a sunny glow, and some pinky beige lips, with those fresh rosy cheeks paired with some lash/brow for a little emphasis. She never goes overboard with her makeup, she maintains her false lashes and keeps everything natural with no hard edge to give her that overdone appearance. Her natural style false lashes brings out her natural beauty effortlessly.
Ardell Fashion Lashes #110 provides amazing natural-looking false lashes for any look whether day or night. They’re designed to look like your natural lashes while accentuating the overall natural look with added volume. In the words of her stylist “Trim the lash strip to the length of your natural eye width.”
According to her, to get the best of the product, apply a little glue to the strip, leaving it to set for about 30 seconds before placing it on your lids. Avoid applying when lash glue is still wet because it can make the lashes slip and slide, which can give you an untidy drunk look. Make sure the strip is pressed against your lash lines, across the liner, then leave it to dry for about 5 to 10 minutes. Add a coat of mascara to blend the false lashes to your natural lashes giving you that natural look.
For those of you wanting extra volume and enhanced de, try Ardell Studio Effects #110 Lashes. This favorite everyday Natural lash style has been double stacked to create a glamourous yet natural studio FX look.
Nothing beats aging gracefully. In the words of the beautiful Jennifer Anniston, “There is this pressure in Hollywood to be ageless. I also understand that age is kind of awesome… Don’t over-product — that’s the other thing.”